The Story Of Us

Today I have been a mom for 10 years. A whole decade. Where does the time go? I have honestly not slept through the night in 10 years! 10 years ago tonight I was laying in a hospital bed, eating ice chips and enjoying the modern technology that allowed me to feel no pain! Little did I know that my days from then on would be filled with unspeakable pain. The pain when your heart nearly stops in the middle of the night and you jump out of bed just to make sure your baby is breathing. The pain in your arms because they are so tired, not because your baby doesn't want to be put down, but because you can't bare to be separated from her. The pain of you baby girl being sick and you willing to give anything in the world for it to be you sick instead. The pain of watching her fall off her bike, her roller blades, her skateboard, the tree. The pain on the first day of school! Every Year! The pain when you have screwed up as a mom and you can see the hurt in her eyes. The pain when she is in a fight with her "best friend". The pain when the kid next door is mean for no reason. The pain as you watch her cry saying "good-bye/see you later" to her grandparents each time we leave Utah. The list goes on and on. How about laying awake at night worrying about how the choices you made today will effect her 1 year from now, 10 years from now? Worrying about nuclear war, staph infections, and older boys. Worrying about drivers that aren't paying attention. Worrying that she is so beautiful she will attract the "wrong" kind of attention. My heart has not been the same in 10 years. She is 10 years old! Everyday is a wonder. Watching her grow. Seeing the beautiful girl she has become and dreaming about the amazing woman she will one day be. My beautiful Brookie Bear... you are going places, and as excited as I am for you, my heart breaks a little more everyday!

10 Years old...