Today I have been a mom for 10 years. A whole decade. Where does the time go? I have honestly not slept through the night in 10 years! 10 years ago tonight I was laying in a hospital bed, eating ice chips and enjoying the modern technology that allowed me to feel no pain! Little did I know that my days from then on would be filled with unspeakable pain. The pain when your heart nearly stops in the middle of the night and you jump out of bed just to make sure your baby is breathing. The pain in your arms because they are so tired, not because your baby doesn't want to be put down, but because you can't bare to be separated from her. The pain of you baby girl being sick and you willing to give anything in the world for it to be you sick instead. The pain of watching her fall off her bike, her roller blades, her skateboard, the tree. The pain on the first day of school! Every Year! The pain when you have screwed up as a mom and you can see the hurt in her eyes. The pain when she is in a fight with her "best friend". The pain when the kid next door is mean for no reason. The pain as you watch her cry saying "good-bye/see you later" to her grandparents each time we leave Utah. The list goes on and on. How about laying awake at night worrying about how the choices you made today will effect her 1 year from now, 10 years from now? Worrying about nuclear war, staph infections, and older boys. Worrying about drivers that aren't paying attention. Worrying that she is so beautiful she will attract the "wrong" kind of attention. My heart has not been the same in 10 years. She is 10 years old! Everyday is a wonder. Watching her grow. Seeing the beautiful girl she has become and dreaming about the amazing woman she will one day be. My beautiful Brookie Bear... you are going places, and as excited as I am for you, my heart breaks a little more everyday!

10 Years old...

Today we unpacked the Halloween box. It's amazing how Harry and Hermione can amuse themselves on a rainy day!

Ryan's Deer!

He got another good one this year!

Now we're done hunting.

Deer hunting that is....

until the rifle hunt.

Yeah...we're never really done hunting!

Problems

What is wrong with my blog! Seriously...there are so many HUGE spaces. I didn't put those it! I must have technical problems. Jenn and Brandon...I need a lesson!

Try this again...

So, the kids are at a friends, Ryan is at work and there is an enormous pile of laudry in my hall...but here I am, trying this blogging stuff again.

Life here has been pretty crazy the last couple of weeks. We spent 9 days in SLC for Lindsey and Nate's wedding and then came back to play catch up. Other than the laundry, I think we're caught up. But truth be told...I'm never caught up with laundry. I'd rather mow the lawn or shovel snow. I'm thinking that we should all just have a months supply of clothes and I'll set aside one weekend a month to wash. But seriously, that would be an awful waste of a weekend.

It was so fun to see everyone last week. I honestly convince myself that I don't miss you all too much, but then I go home and realize just how much I miss you. Laughing at Ryan and his brothers, watching Lindsey be a grown up (weird) and hanging with my siblings and my totally fabulous un-sister-in-law. (Deborah...you are one of my favorite people...I love ya!) Also seeing my little neice and nephew. I want to be their favorite aunt, but it's kinda hard from so far away! (Speaking of nieces and nephew's...I really could use a few more. You Muirs need to get on that. I'll be complaining about college expenses when you are complaining about diaper expences at the rate you're going!) Anyway...it's alway so good to see everyone. I don't have my pictures of Lindsey's wedding yet, but I'll share them as soon as I get them.

We were so lucky this trip to Utah, because we got to go to one of my absolute favorite places in the world! Lake Powell. That is my kind of heaven! Hot sun, water, boats, sand, and swimsuits. Not to mention the breathtaking scenary. I love it! My mom and Brick, Andrew, Debo, Isaiah, Alisha and Kaylee were all there. It was a great time.

Ryan finally got up on the wake board. Actually, he has been able to get up a few times, but not for long. When we're here, I'm always driving the boat and I'm not able to give him pointers, so it was nice to have Brick drive, and my mom, Andrew and I all giving him pointers. Besides...the Baker in us is naturally pretty bossy! So with all of us bossing him around, he was able to get up and cross the wake.

Brooklyn Loves Daddy!

I to the Z to the Z - Y - I!

Well, I'm trying to put more pictures on here, but I'm getting an error...so next time!